A couple of years ago, I decided that I was going to stop photographing weddings. Part of the reason was that I felt like I was being torn in too many different directions … commercial work, portrait work, seniors, newborns, weddings … it all felt like too much at the same time. I have a secret desire to turn my business into a specialty business where I focus on one area of photography. Currently, I’m a generalist. There’s nothing wrong with being a generalist. In fact, part of me wants to stay that way because I genuinely love all those areas of photography! But the business side of my brain knows that specializing is the way to go if I want to grow my business in a direction that best suits my life.

So anyway … as I looked at all the different areas of photography I was trying to cultivate simultaneously, I realized that there was just too much there. Maybe I wasn’t ready to choose just ONE avenue … but I wanted to at least eliminate one or two from the list. I chose to eliminate weddings even though at the time, they were half of my income.

The business side of my brain was like … what are you doing? That’s half of your income!

But I felt like it was justifiable because part of me felt very strongly that it was the right decision.

Looking back on that decision now, I realize that it wasn’t the creative side of my brain making the decision (like I thought). It wasn’t really a smart decision, either.

Truth be told, I made that decision because weddings stressed me out.

Now, when I say that to people, they innately respond with: “Oh yeah, the bridezillas are awful to deal with!”

But that wasn’t it at all!! I’ve NEVER worked with a Bridezilla. (Or a Groomzilla, for that matter.) My couples have been, for the most part, an absolute delight. They’re thoughtful, kind, and I continue to photograph many of their growing families to this day. (I seriously LOVE getting to watch families grow!)

It wasn’t the vendors that stressed me out, either. I’ve worked with FABULOUS vendors. Most of the time I’ve worked with small business owners who genuinely want to collaborate with other vendors to make the couple’s day really amazing.

So if it’s not the couples … and not the other vendors … then that only leaves one person:

Me.

I stress myself out.

I’m a perfectionist who wants to make sure every detail is amazing. And so I worry … I worry that I won’t do as good a job as I’ve promised. I fear that the couple won’t love their pictures. I stress that anything and everything that could go wrong will.

But it never does. I’m always prepared … backed up … and fully ready to go. And I always walk away from weddings feeling proud of the work I hand over to clients. In fact, it’s the body of work I’m probably the most proud of. And that in and of itself should have told me that it wasn’t the area of my business I should let go of for the time being.

So, what happened?

I allowed fear and self doubt to take over and call the shots.

Recently, I decided to put a few weddings back into my schedule. And this time, I’m going to address my fears HEAD ON. I don’t know if I’ll do weddings for years and years to come … as I still do want to streamline my business a bit more. But I know that I don’t want to shelf something because it scares me.

I’ve thought long and hard about things. And I’ve decided to challenge myself to provide my wedding clients with the BEST images I’ve ever created. And to focus on that … rather than to focus on fear.

This is particularly important to me because since shelving weddings, it has become GLARINGLY clear to me that I’ve allowed fear to hold me back from growing each and every area of my business … particularly the one I want to grow the most … commercial photography. If you want to be a commercial photographer, then you have to be confident. Why? Because you have to sell yourself. You have to go out there, find people who need a photographer, and CONVINCE them that they should hire you. The only way it will work is if you truly BELIEVE in yourself as a person and as an artist. After you believe in yourself, you then go out there and start knocking on doors. You knock and knock and knock and then knock some more. You even knock on (or dare I say, especially on) the doors that scare you.

I’ve been looking for tips and tricks that I can use to help me work on my fears and to empower me to EMBRACE stepping out of my comfort zone. Maybe they’ll help you, too.

1. Accept that fear is NOT a bad thing. That queasy little feeling that pops up in the pit of my stomach when I think about stretching myself?? I can CHOOSE to view it as an indicator that I’m about to be challenged in a good way rather than thinking, “oh, here we go again. I hate being uncomfortable!”
2. Understand that fear can lead to growth. Since I’m learning that fear is actually an indication that I’m being pushed or challenged, I’m slowly starting to see that it’s something I should embrace rather than run away from. When we’re challenged and we rise to the occasion, we grow. In fact, it’s the BEST way to get better at something. If I constantly shy away from BIG things that scare me, I’ll never grow. And that would just be sad!
3. Cut the dramatics. I have a tendency to get a little overly dramatic with myself. I tend to envision the worst case scenarios … which lead me to shy away from things because if I avoid the situation, then all those horrible things I’ve envisioned will never happen. So I’m safe. (But definitely not moving forward.) Instead, what I should focus on is past situations that scared me … but in which I succeeded! When it comes to weddings, In fact, I’ve always had a wonderful time at every wedding I’ve photographed. I’ve always been over prepared for any emergencies (oops! like the time I dropped my flash and it broke. The backups were ready to go and we never even missed a beat.) So all the negative stuff that swirls around in my head for weeks prior to the wedding is, in all honesty, a bunch of lies. It’s not true. So I just need to tell it to shut up and then be honest with myself: I can do this. I’m actually pretty good at this.
4. Become a champion of facing your worst fears. They say that practice makes perfect. So basically, the more I approach situations that make me uncomfortable initially or that cause me to stretch … the BETTER I’ll become at handling them. Period.
5. Stop worrying. It’s said that 95% of the things we worry about never come to pass while the remaining 5% of things will happen whether we worry about them or not. I had to really think about that. Can you really NOT worry about things that, in all honesty, are stress inducers? Um … yeah, you can. But I have to literally make a conscious effort to address the fear and shut it off. If I don’t, it will run rampant and make me miserable.
6. Make a list of the things that scare you and then be prepared. What’s the WORST case scenario? For me and weddings, it’s that I hit a major traffic jam on my way to the event, which causes me to be really late and then I show up and my camera quits working or my card dies. That would, obviously, be a really bad day. But since I’ve identified the fears, I can set reasonable solutions into place so that I’m prepared. And then I have to remind myself … ok, stop worrying … you’ve got two back up cameras, backup cards, and you always leave two hours earlier than necessary … so you’re doing all that could REASONABLY be expected of you.
7. Self-affirmation is important … and should be done daily. Successful people think in terms of “I will” and “I can.” The more we add these thoughts into our lives, the more our confidence levels will grow.

“Successful people are uncomfortable with comfort, Unsuccessful people are comfortable with the uncomfortable” – Ivan Tapia

Let’s go out there and be scared together!

Happy Monday!
Kate